In order to get permanent rather than short term change:
Acknowledgement: Recognizing that there is a problem and that problems in relationships are normal.
Allow: Allow an honest and in-depth reflection of our personality so that we can an accurate view of what is going on.
Acceptance: We must accept that there may be some aspects of our personality and behaviour that need to change.
Change & Review: We make change within ourselves by reflecting reviewing and appraising how we behave after that fact.
Action: We must catch our unhelpful behaviour as it happens and do it differently. Over and over until we create new behaviour habits.
Alternatives: Deliberately and consciously introduce alternative strategies that create loving respectful communication.